Monday, February 1, 2010

Oscar and Felix (AKA Felicia)

O Wise One and I have been on the subject of animals here lately. He ordered new chicks Saturday to add to our flock of ladies. And is talking about going to the livestock auction for a bottle calf. I am going to look at goats ( Sssshhhh! It’s a secret). O Wise One will put up a fuss like he always does but love shall prevail. He really does love me ya know.

I don’t think I realized how much until we moved here 12 years ago from the little blue farmhouse in Louisiana. You see I was raised in a little town called, do not laugh, Pumpkin Center, Louisiana. Don’t you dare laugh. About 45 minutes from New Orleans. I grew up on the Natalbany River. Yep right on the river banks. Daddy used to say he had to cut the webs from between my toes before he could buy me my first heels. Okay! That's another story!

Anyway we packed up our stuff and moved from my home state to Missouri because of his Mom’s failing health. I agreed to move but I was not leaving behind 3 things, my dog, my mama’s rose bushes and 2 baby goslings called Oscar and Felix. They had been a gift to the 2 girls that summer and were the biggest pets imaginable. I mean they didn’t roost on Lincoln’s but pretty close. So O Wise One packed up the 2 girls and I and moved us to Missouri. Got us settled in Hickery Holler and flew back for the rest of the furniture and everything left behind, packed it all in this huge U Haul truck . He then drove 15 hours in a U haul truck with a pregnant dog, 2 geese and mama’s rose bushes in the front seat. Now honey, North or South, that’s true love in my book.

We soon settled in and Oscar and Felix got their own little goose yard and all was happy in the Holler. Mama’s roses bloomed right on. The dog dropped 8 puppies the next day. Boy did he miss that bullet! Oscar and Felix grew and by the next summer we were sure we had made a huge mistake. Ya see they weren’t cute little fuzzy goslings any more and Felix definitely wasn’t a Felix! Oops. Okay so we goofed. It happens and of course O Wise One was convinced that I was the origin of the assumption by everyone that Felix was male. Of course I was who are we kidding? No problem Felix became Felicia.

Well nature took its course and Oscar and Felicia became parents. And that's when the poop (goose poop that is ) hit the fan. I was outside weeding in the flower bed one day and Oscar snuck up and bit me on my bottom. We thought okay, Oscar is just having a bad day and it will be fine tomorrow. Well for the next three months I spent all my time in the yard watching for Oscar to sneak up and get me on the bottom. Come on I'm a gardener. My bum is constantly in the air. My neighbors would probably recognize my bum before they would my face. If I had neighbors that is : )  Everytime I bent over there he was. My bottom was constantly full of big purple bruises. He would come from nowhere. He became Ninja Goose. He wasn’t afraid of the broom or the water hose. And of course he never bit O Wise One. Ever!! Only my bottom. And of Course O Wise One was always watching from around the corner of the shed or something. I heard him snickering. This was revenge for that U Haul trip. Wonder how much extra corn he was slipping Oscar behind my back to do that. Finally enough was enough and O Wise One took pity on me or should I say my bottom. He loaded Oscar and Felix and family up in the little red lumber wagon.(aka his red pick up truck) and made a donation to a local poultry farmer that didn’t have a wife that worked in the yard!  O Wise One had restored order to the barnyard once more. And I learned that I was not cut out to be a goose farmer.

And all’s well that ends well in the Holler!

Blessings from the Canned Quilter


  1. The more I read your stories the more I am feeling that we are sisters! I was born in Va but lived in Fla a couple times before I was married, when I was still wet behind the ears, and settled down in Va. These stories of yours always spark another memory of my past.

    Such as the white Pekin duck that I had as a child named what else but "Oscar" Did we read the same books? Oscar was scared of the water and had a toe fetish!! He stayed near the front door and would attack my mom everytime she came near wearing sandals! He would chase her down and grab a toe and hold on for dear life!!!!!!! We would hear her screaming simultaneously my and my dads names but we would have to take our time getting there to rescue her cause of the laughing!!!!! Oscar didn't last long at our place and found a new home on a nearby farm where all the farmers wore boots!!!!!

    I sure hope you get some goats! I am sure that your "O Wise One" is as big a pushover as mine is ;-)......we are kept women are we not??

  2. OMG! Maybe it is the name Oscar. My Oscar was named after Oscar in the TV show The Odd Couple. And yes I am so kept!!


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