Saturday, March 12, 2011

A Rainy Patch

I haven't blogged in over a week. My readers are starting to get concerned. Bless their hearts the Canned Quilter is fine. I'm just going through a little rainy spot. It's raining in my soul. You all know what I am talking about ....when you are just sad and a little blue. A lot on your mind. Mine all started off with rainy weather the first of last week. That all day dreary cloudy weather. Then O Wise One and I had to drive to Ellis Fischell Cancer Research Center for my 6 month screening for cancer. It is a two and a half hour drive and it rained all the way there and all the way home. We were pretty quiet on the drive. My mind wandered to all the people I had met along the way on my journey to recovery. The brothers and sisters like myself who had been struck with this horrible disease. So many had lost their battle. So many much younger than I. The survivors guilt set in. Why had I survived when so many had not. We had all fought so hard. The needles, radiation and chemotherapy. The sickness and side effects of the treatment itself. The horror of watching your hair fall out. The feeling of no energy, of constant monitoring of blood counts and wearing masks to cope with having no immunity. Hats and wigs. The funerals of those who have not survived are the toughest.

I waited anxiously for 2 days for the results of my screenings. My numbers were great. As far as they can tell I am still cancer free. It's been two and a half years. After five I am considered cured. I find out today that my neighbors father has bone cancer.  And life goes on.

For now I cook alot. I pull into myself and let my soul heal a little. O Wise One as always loves me and recognizes this mood and just supports me. He knows this too shall pass. We walk into the future as always hand in hand as one. Here in the Holler spring is just around the bend. We shall embrace it and glory in the miracles of grandchildren and sprouting seeds. We shall plant and glory in the sprouting of the seeds and we shall harvest. Toil is our old friend and we find comfort in the soil and the animals that dwell upon it. So much depends on us and we depend on these things that sustain us.

We thank our God every day for it all and especially for each other.

"There is so little patience for the silence from which words emerge or for the silence that is between words and within them. When we forget or neglect this silence, we empty our world of its secret and subtle presences. We can no longer converse with the dead or the absent."

John Donohue

Blessings from The Holler

The Canned Quilter     


  1. I am a reader in San Diego County. I just love your blog.

    I have been worried about you the past week and am very relieved to find that you and your family are ok. My heart is with you during your 'blues' this past week.

    Recently, after 2 hospital stays and many tests, I was told I have what is called NASH (Non-Alcoholic Steatohepatitis). I am 50 years old and the liver specialist said that if I didn't make some changes in my lifestyle (in other words no more junk food and being a couch potato), I would have only a few years to live. It is hard to come to that wall and wonder if you can get over it.

    I have changed my bad eating habits to eating from scratch foods (mostly organic) only. Your blog has helped inspire me to get a garden in this spring and to somehow raise (or buy) pasture fed/free range meats. I live in the city so this will be a tough one to figure out.

    But the exercise of tending to a garden and making foods from scratch will be good for me. Also walking and soaking in the beauties of nature that God has created for us.

    Facing the word 'death' is scarey and sad when you see others not make it. Thank you for sharing your feelings in this post. They have helped me today.


  2. I have so missed you this week and knew that something was not right. You don't know how much I love to read your blog and greatly enjoy your receipes you share with us. I am so glad your back and understand being blue...(sometime I will share). I just got back from Chicago visiting my grandchildren and daughter and son-in-law. I cried when the plane took off and cried when it landed in Dallas.
    Please keep your chin up and know we are all glad to see you back...Sincerely....Vera

  3. Love you Momma Hooch! Wish I could have come and given you a hug while we were in MO:)) I have an inkling of where you are at and can only reassure you that God does have a perfect plan for your life and the days He has given you. Your words were so soothing today~ Thanks for sharing:))

  4. As I sit here thinking of words I can write to let you know you are appreciated ... the only thing I can think of to send to you is a smile. :D Take care!

  5. Haaaallllllllllleeeeellllllluuuuuuuujjjjjjjaaahhhh! That's great results! I need you around for many many many more years!!

    It's funny how we can feel so much guilt when we are doing well and others are suffering. Part of that human nature thing I guess! I will be sending up prayers for you and your friend.

    Love ya!!

  6. Congrats on the results! I wasn't sure when you were going and didn't want to be a pest and call at a bad time.

    I love you bunches and tons and you know you are one of my most favorite people on the planet!

  7. My little sister is undergoing her second battle with cancer now. Your writing about your battle gave me courage to help her face what she will be facing in the coming weeks. Thank you so much for writing about it, and I am so very happy that your counts are good and you can look forward to happy spring in the Holler.

  8. Wonderful, fantastic news!!!

  9. First a big hug going out to you on the web. Having lost family member to this disease, and being the sole person left I understand the blues. You are here for those who read your blog and some many not post comments but they are there. Keep up the great work you are doing and enjoy being cancer free! You are a big blessing in my life and I need you to keep us going. You and I are so lucky to have someone in our lives that love us has we walk down the path of life. May the Good Lord bless you and Mr. O this growing season, and watch over your family.

    I'm sending lots of love, hugs and kisses from S.E. Michigan!


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